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Sunday, June 21, 2015

MommyMorphosis 3rd Annual Father's Day Special Edition 2015

In 2013 I began what has become one of my favorite MommyMorphosis traditions. Once a year, on Father's Day, I turn over the reins to our partners in parenthood. It's important for me to shine a light on the Dads, Daddies, Pops, Papas, Babas, Papis, Fathers and Father Figures that make our lives more full. Individually, we may recognize the impact of the men who raised us; we may be thankful for the fathers of our children, but more often that not super Dads just don't get their due. I share these words written by fathers themselves, as a tool to change the narrative around modern fatherhood. These men are not bumbling idiots, clueless about caring for their children. Conversely, they are digging in, learning the ropes along with mothers. Changing diapers, sleep training, correcting homework, cooking dinner, providing and aspiring to greatness for the benefit of their offspring. Men actively creating a legacy. Growing and evolving into first class parents, just as much as women. They are men who are loving and accountable, firm yet fair; men who live as the antithesis of deadbeat, misogynist, disconnected stereotypes. The truth is I know just as many incredible fathers as I do awe inspiring mothers. Today we celebrate you! Please enjoy this collection of essays written by wonderful fathers, along with some additional memories and dedications shared by friends on social media.

Melvin O. Pearse a.k.a DJ Majesty - 35 yrs

http://www.iamdjmajesty.com/
I'm a Database administrator full time and also A Professional Disc Jockey which means I have a passion for music. I love to play soccer and basketball.

I've known my wife for 7yrs and we are married going on 2yrs now with 2 beautiful kids.

The best part of being a Dad is being  able to support my  children through education, emotionally, discipline , putting  food on the table and putting them on the right track. My dad was never there for me and I don't want to make the same mistake my dad did  with me onto them. Therefore the best part of being a dad is to be  the best dad  I can be.


The difficult and frustrating part is not having enough time to focus on myself because most of my time is dedicated to them and work. I guess it comes with the territory..lol

Becoming a Parent has changed me in so many ways compared to my old life. I'm more responsible and more careful of the actions I take and it's been great following that path. My children would describe me as a hero , great and best friend.


Some of you may remember an awesome post last year by father of triplets, Robert Griggs.

Rob Griggs (34 years old. Cancer LOL) Chicago, IL

Business Consultant, President and Founder of For Husbands Only

Married  (6 Years) with 3 year old Triplets.

Best Part of Being a Dad:
The best part is the positive influence that I’m having on a person’s life.  When I see my kids sing a song I taught them or play a game that we learned together, it makes me feel proud.  Also, there’s no greater feeling then when you hit the door and your kids run to you and let you know they missed you.

The Frustrating Part:
The toughest part about being a Dad is that people are shocked that a man knows how to take care of his kids. Or that we know intimate details about our children. This should not be a surprise. A lot of times I feel like I’m proving that I know my kids to people when I really shouldn’t have to.

What Have I Learned
I’ve learned that you are stronger than you think. When you have a child and they need something, you don’t think about how tired you are, or what you need or what you have to do…you just take care of their needs.  Before we moved to our current home, my wife and I lived on the 3rd floor. Our washing machine was broken and we used my parents’. I would carry the 3 babies up and down the stairs, with 3-4 loads of clothes and never thought twice about it. It was just what we had to do. Could I do that now?!? Probably not…because I no longer have to.

I strive to be a Father that is involved in my kids’ lives. I want to know my kids’ favorite cartoon character, their friends, and their favorite TV shows. But I don’t want to be their friend. They’ll have enough of those…but they’ll only have one Father. Hopefully, my kids can talk to me about those things that scare them or confuse so I can give them solid advice.  But I’m a very involved father now. I’m pretty good at anticipating my children’s needs. And I learned very early, each kid is different and must be treated differently. That takes more work, but it’s definitely more effective.

He and his family are thriving. Keep up with him at https://twitter.com/ForHusbandsOnly www.forhusbandsonly.com



Jason Wells shared this reminder.

"Fellas with all the negativity going on in the world it starts at home, being a father is not only a privilege, but it's our responsibility. Future change for this and the next generations to come depends on us and how we raise our children. Happy Father's Day Gentleman and keep striving for greatness. Enjoy..."








Wess Walters, Owner and founder of www.marketingmassive.com , a video production company that bridges the gap between video Social Media. My professional goal is to take away the frustration of social media management for small to medium size business owners.




The best part about being a dad is to witness change and growth within my children. The most scary and difficult thing is watching them feel pain.

Being a parent has really thought me to master time management. I am at the helm of my family and my goal is to provide, profess (my love) and protect.

How would your children describe you? “The best dad ever”



Charles Clemons wrote about how his heavenly father influences his responsibility to his family.

"This day is special not because I could celebrate being a father but because it's another opportunity for me to recognize God for His daily provisions and entrusting my wife and I with Deztiny and Trinity's care. Thank you all for the Father's day wishes and Happy Father's day to all the fathers and father figures." 



Ed Kim
My name is Ed and I’m 35 years old. I currently reside in Springfield, IL, but was born and raised in Chicago (city proper). I’ve been married to my wife, Amanda, for 8 WONDERFUL years, but we’ve been together since 1999. We have two very handsome sons, Carter and Spencer, 6 years and 2 years in age respectively. I am a very proud parent. Oftentimes, in public, I certainly become my own father as I am speechless by the love and adoration strangers will show towards my children. That is not the best part of being a father. Rather, I love reading to my oldest and listening to him read back to me. It seems just yesterday Carter was learning how to walk. 

Being a father is not easy. I am constantly in flux with my parental role as role model, provider, mentor, peer, and disciplinarian … among many other roles. As much as I would love to continually provide my kids with anything and everything, I look at my oldest and sometimes feel angry at his propensity to be thankless for all the material goods he’s acquired. Yet, I’m never angry at him, just the actions and behavior. Of course, I view much of me in him and I know how I was as a kid. So, I really try to step back, allow my child to make/commit mistakes and see if he will learn from them. I then try to emulate/embody the great values and characteristics that create a great person hoping that Carter will pick up on the best behaviors.

I guess the toughest part of being a dad is watching my kids deal with the consequences of their actions (i.e. Spencer standing up and leaning to reach for something, but falls hard to the ground). A part of me wants to just make all the decisions for them or make everything alright. Sometimes, there’s nothing that a parent or adult can do to fix anything, but simply hopelessly watch as kids make their choices and deal with the related consequences.

I guess Carter would describe me as one to not disappoint. I take misbehavior seriously, not as bad as my own father, and always make sure Carter learns something. I think Carter is beginning to learn the lesson of making an impression and exercising judgment. As much as I would love to see a lesson learned much easier, I know that nothing is easy in life in order to succeed. I can only hope that I remain close to my children for the rest of my life. I’d hate to alienate any of them simply because I love them too much to see them fail.

My children are the love of my life, second only to my wife and best friend. I can only hope that we, as a family, can develop and grow the best qualities and values as time passes us by.

 

Chika Chukudebelu, BET producer, host and creator of the inspirational leadership podcast, The Blueprint Show www.blueprintshow.com , shared this sentiment.






"The hardest working man I know. From Nigeria to Heidelberg, Germany to NYC to Chicago, he paved a new path for our family. This is what reliable looks like and I'm grateful that he's who God gave me. Happy Father's Day, Daddy!" 










Clayton Harris, CEO and Founder of HitekConsulting.com


What I love most about being a Dad is watching my daughter Michelle learn how to do things on her
own. What I love even more is how she looks at me when she's having a hard time learning something, or when she's scared or unsure of her steps, and I'm there to guide her. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's who can relate. ‪#‎She‬sTheRealMVP












One of our regular contributors and hilarious favorites is back this year, Ugo Nwokolo.

My name is Ugo from the House of Nwokolo. Husband to a Supermodel, Black Belt in Taekwondo Semi-Pro Beach Volleyball player and Father to Ronke, Kosi and Ugo 2.0. This is my 7th Father's Day.


Best thing about being a dad:


I think it is the power. My words and actions are altering my children's perspectives and way of thinking. I am the arbiter of their world view. I have phenomenal cosmic power!


I have... Aww they are so cute...


I also love it when any of my children seek to lie on me for comfort or reassurance. I love being a place of comfort and security for my kids.


I love hearing the word Daddy. Usually said with joy or surprise. Sometimes said in an whiny irritating voice but I will never get tired of it. I am their daddy. It is one of the best sounds in the world.


Another thing about being a Dad are the games I made up for my kids. 25 kisses,  the  why you! Game and the Surprise hug.


25 kisses is when I grab a child and declare that is to receive 25 kisses and proceed to do so in rapid fashion. All my kids laugh with glee and Ronke usually asked if I had done all 25 for me to get more in.

Kosi loves it and even Ugo 2.0. I feel it is something that I will keep on doing til they get too old but remember it fondly.



The Why You game involves picking me kids and lobbing them onto my bed. When that game starts, it is like a workout. 3 kids wanting their turn to be thrown onto my Bed.  I can't just throw them, I need to say Why You!  In mock indignation before throwing them otherwise it doesn't count.

The Surprise hug is simple and self explanatory but I know my children love being surprised by a hug from their daddy. Sometimes they even try to trigger a Surprise hug. You cant activate a Surprise hug.

It comes when You least expect it.

The Frustrating Part:
Keeping calm when all children are conspiring to get on my last fragile nerve.

Trying to find the time to spend with my
Supermodel Kung Semi Pro Beach Volleyball player. I love my kids but they can be chronal black holes. I can't imagine life without them so it is that frustrating struggle to give everyone the time we all need to flourish. I am a jealous husband. I want time with my preciooouuussss.

Lastly, I wish the bar wasn't so low for fathers. It is always weird when I get praised to just being a basic father to my kids.

What I have learned:

1: Each child is unique and you need to make sure that you don't force the lessons you learned with one child onto the other.

2: Each child needs individual time together with you.

3: The wife I had before my first child isn't the same after the birth.

There are new dimensions after every new child. Make sure you truly connect to find out where you are as a couple.

Kids are great but your relationship is Paramount. Kids need to learn that Dad considers his wife his Number 1 option.

My name is Ugo from the House of Nwokolo. Husband to Funmi and Father to Ronke, Kosi and Ugo. This is my 7th Father's Day.  I am very blessed man.

I also have a vivid imagination.







Joe Carlos eloquently expressed his father's example and shared a photo of his adorable little one, Sage Harper.

"His examples were those in his mind. And so, he did the best he could with what he had. He worked tirelessly. He walked circumspectfully. He lived and breathed integrity. He expected our best, and poured his energies into providing whatever we needed to succeed.
It's not easy being the son of a revered person. It's not. It's not easy when you bear the same name. The expectations are higher than you could imagine because of all that you've been fortunate enough to experience and have. And still, despite that, my father has loved me and my siblings and taught us lessons that will endure, and shown us the world.
We spoke on Thursday about Hamlet. And he purposefully mispronounced a character's name. And I corrected him by saying "Polonius". He lives for that. For that affirmation. He lives for the delight of shared knowledge. And he passed that on to us, and we will do the same.
My father delivers babies for a living, and he's one of the absolute best at it, anywhere. Because of this, and because of the way he approaches his work, he is one of the most respected people in his field, and definitely in our sleepy little town of Dallas, TX. And despite all of the things he is to so many people; the Deacon, the proud grandfather, the counselor, the prayer partner, the trustee at Greenhill and Lakehill, the consummate uncle, the loyal Boule brother, the avid Cowboys, Rangers and Mavs fan, the Alpha, first and foremost he'll tell you that he's a child of God. And being a child of God, is what rules and guides his life.
Happy Father's Day to my role model and the man that I'm blessed to call my father, and Sage and Izzy's grandfather."

First Lady Krystal Taft reflected on her husband's dedication to the Lord and their family.



[Pastor Taft Q. Heatley] "William loves standing in your shoes so much to the point that I have to wrestle them away from him when you are not home. I know that one day he'll be big enough to fill your shoes, and when that day comes I know that he will be the loving husband, father, son, brother, friend and most importantly Man of God that you are teaching him to be. I love you and Happy Father's Day!!!"












This quote sums up how I feel about my father, confidante and kindred spirit.




“They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps.” — Everwood






Finally, Happy Father's day to my wonderful husband, Marvin! Thank you for being the best Daddy to our children, showering them with love and affection. Thank you for knowing when they need a kind word over a stern hand. Thank you for understanding that for them to live life without limits they still need boundaries. Most of all thank for loving their Mother :-* 





I also salute the men in my extended family; my uncles, grandfathers and family friends that offer an immeasurable amount of love and guidance - not only as father figures to me, but to my kids as well. We Love You All!

I hope to continue working with fathers as guest bloggers, so Dads, if what you read in this post inspires you to pen something of your own please send it to mommymorphosis@gmail.com 

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