MommyMorphosis 3rd Annual Father's Day Special Edition 2015

In 2013 I began what has become one of my favorite MommyMorphosis traditions. Once a year, on Father's Day, I turn over the reins to our partners in parenthood. It's important for me to shine a light on the Dads, Daddies, Pops, Papas, Babas, Papis, Fathers and Father Figures that make our lives more full. Individually, we may recognize the impact of the men who raised us; we may be thankful for the fathers of our children, but more often that not super Dads just don't get their due. I share these words written by fathers themselves, as a tool to change the narrative around modern fatherhood. These men are not bumbling idiots, clueless about caring for their children. Conversely, they are digging in, learning the ropes along with mothers. Changing diapers, sleep training, correcting homework, cooking dinner, providing and aspiring to greatness for the benefit of their offspring. Men actively creating a legacy. Growing and evolving into first class parents, just as much as women. They are men who are loving and accountable, firm yet fair; men who live as the antithesis of deadbeat, misogynist, disconnected stereotypes. The truth is I know just as many incredible fathers as I do awe inspiring mothers. Today we celebrate you! Please enjoy this collection of essays written by wonderful fathers, along with some additional memories and dedications shared by friends on social media.

Melvin O. Pearse a.k.a DJ Majesty - 35 yrs

http://www.iamdjmajesty.com/
I'm a Database administrator full time and also A Professional Disc Jockey which means I have a passion for music. I love to play soccer and basketball.

I've known my wife for 7yrs and we are married going on 2yrs now with 2 beautiful kids.

The best part of being a Dad is being  able to support my  children through education, emotionally, discipline , putting  food on the table and putting them on the right track. My dad was never there for me and I don't want to make the same mistake my dad did  with me onto them. Therefore the best part of being a dad is to be  the best dad  I can be.


The difficult and frustrating part is not having enough time to focus on myself because most of my time is dedicated to them and work. I guess it comes with the territory..lol

Becoming a Parent has changed me in so many ways compared to my old life. I'm more responsible and more careful of the actions I take and it's been great following that path. My children would describe me as a hero , great and best friend.


Some of you may remember an awesome post last year by father of triplets, Robert Griggs.

Rob Griggs (34 years old. Cancer LOL) Chicago, IL

Business Consultant, President and Founder of For Husbands Only

Married  (6 Years) with 3 year old Triplets.

Best Part of Being a Dad:
The best part is the positive influence that I’m having on a person’s life.  When I see my kids sing a song I taught them or play a game that we learned together, it makes me feel proud.  Also, there’s no greater feeling then when you hit the door and your kids run to you and let you know they missed you.

The Frustrating Part:
The toughest part about being a Dad is that people are shocked that a man knows how to take care of his kids. Or that we know intimate details about our children. This should not be a surprise. A lot of times I feel like I’m proving that I know my kids to people when I really shouldn’t have to.

What Have I Learned
I’ve learned that you are stronger than you think. When you have a child and they need something, you don’t think about how tired you are, or what you need or what you have to do…you just take care of their needs.  Before we moved to our current home, my wife and I lived on the 3rd floor. Our washing machine was broken and we used my parents’. I would carry the 3 babies up and down the stairs, with 3-4 loads of clothes and never thought twice about it. It was just what we had to do. Could I do that now?!? Probably not…because I no longer have to.

I strive to be a Father that is involved in my kids’ lives. I want to know my kids’ favorite cartoon character, their friends, and their favorite TV shows. But I don’t want to be their friend. They’ll have enough of those…but they’ll only have one Father. Hopefully, my kids can talk to me about those things that scare them or confuse so I can give them solid advice.  But I’m a very involved father now. I’m pretty good at anticipating my children’s needs. And I learned very early, each kid is different and must be treated differently. That takes more work, but it’s definitely more effective.

He and his family are thriving. Keep up with him at https://twitter.com/ForHusbandsOnly www.forhusbandsonly.com

Jason Wells shared this reminder.

"Fellas with all the negativity going on in the world it starts at home, being a father is not only a privilege, but it's our responsibility. Future change for this and the next generations to come depends on us and how we raise our children. Happy Father's Day Gentleman and keep striving for greatness. Enjoy..."








Wess Walters, Owner and founder of www.marketingmassive.com , a video production company that bridges the gap between video Social Media. My professional goal is to take away the frustration of social media management for small to medium size business owners.




The best part about being a dad is to witness change and growth within my children. The most scary and difficult thing is watching them feel pain.

Being a parent has really thought me to master time management. I am at the helm of my family and my goal is to provide, profess (my love) and protect.

How would your children describe you? “The best dad ever”

Charles Clemons wrote about how his heavenly father influences his responsibility to his family.

"This day is special not because I could celebrate being a father but because it's another opportunity for me to recognize God for His daily provisions and entrusting my wife and I with Deztiny and Trinity's care. Thank you all for the Father's day wishes and Happy Father's day to all the fathers and father figures." 

Ed Kim
My name is Ed and I’m 35 years old. I currently reside in Springfield, IL, but was born and raised in Chicago (city proper). I’ve been married to my wife, Amanda, for 8 WONDERFUL years, but we’ve been together since 1999. We have two very handsome sons, Carter and Spencer, 6 years and 2 years in age respectively. I am a very proud parent. Oftentimes, in public, I certainly become my own father as I am speechless by the love and adoration strangers will show towards my children. That is not the best part of being a father. Rather, I love reading to my oldest and listening to him read back to me. It seems just yesterday Carter was learning how to walk. 

Being a father is not easy. I am constantly in flux with my parental role as role model, provider, mentor, peer, and disciplinarian … among many other roles. As much as I would love to continually provide my kids with anything and everything, I look at my oldest and sometimes feel angry at his propensity to be thankless for all the material goods he’s acquired. Yet, I’m never angry at him, just the actions and behavior. Of course, I view much of me in him and I know how I was as a kid. So, I really try to step back, allow my child to make/commit mistakes and see if he will learn from them. I then try to emulate/embody the great values and characteristics that create a great person hoping that Carter will pick up on the best behaviors.

I guess the toughest part of being a dad is watching my kids deal with the consequences of their actions (i.e. Spencer standing up and leaning to reach for something, but falls hard to the ground). A part of me wants to just make all the decisions for them or make everything alright. Sometimes, there’s nothing that a parent or adult can do to fix anything, but simply hopelessly watch as kids make their choices and deal with the related consequences.

I guess Carter would describe me as one to not disappoint. I take misbehavior seriously, not as bad as my own father, and always make sure Carter learns something. I think Carter is beginning to learn the lesson of making an impression and exercising judgment. As much as I would love to see a lesson learned much easier, I know that nothing is easy in life in order to succeed. I can only hope that I remain close to my children for the rest of my life. I’d hate to alienate any of them simply because I love them too much to see them fail.

My children are the love of my life, second only to my wife and best friend. I can only hope that we, as a family, can develop and grow the best qualities and values as time passes us by.

 

Chika Chukudebelu, BET producer, host and creator of the inspirational leadership podcast, The Blueprint Show www.blueprintshow.com , shared this sentiment.






"The hardest working man I know. From Nigeria to Heidelberg, Germany to NYC to Chicago, he paved a new path for our family. This is what reliable looks like and I'm grateful that he's who God gave me. Happy Father's Day, Daddy!" 










Clayton Harris, CEO and Founder of HitekConsulting.com

What I love most about being a Dad is watching my daughter Michelle learn how to do things on her

own. What I love even more is how she looks at me when she's having a hard time learning something, or when she's scared or unsure of her steps, and I'm there to guide her. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's who can relate. ‪#‎She‬sTheRealMVP












One of our regular contributors and hilarious favorites is back this year, Ugo Nwokolo.

My name is Ugo from the House of Nwokolo. Husband to a Supermodel, Black Belt in Taekwondo Semi-Pro Beach Volleyball player and Father to Ronke, Kosi and Ugo 2.0. This is my 7th Father's Day.

Best thing about being a dad:

I think it is the power. My words and actions are altering my children's perspectives and way of thinking. I am the arbiter of their world view. I have phenomenal cosmic power!

I have... Aww they are so cute...

I also love it when any of my children seek to lie on me for comfort or reassurance. I love being a place of comfort and security for my kids.

I love hearing the word Daddy. Usually said with joy or surprise. Sometimes said in an whiny irritating voice but I will never get tired of it. I am their daddy. It is one of the best sounds in the world.

Another thing about being a Dad are the games I made up for my kids. 25 kisses,  the  why you! Game and the Surprise hug.

25 kisses is when I grab a child and declare that is to receive 25 kisses and proceed to do so in rapid fashion. All my kids laugh with glee and Ronke usually asked if I had done all 25 for me to get more in.

Kosi loves it and even Ugo 2.0. I feel it is something that I will keep on doing til they get too old but remember it fondly.

The Why You game involves picking me kids and lobbing them onto my bed. When that game starts, it is like a workout. 3 kids wanting their turn to be thrown onto my Bed.  I can't just throw them, I need to say Why You!  In mock indignation before throwing them otherwise it doesn't count.

The Surprise hug is simple and self explanatory but I know my children love being surprised by a hug from their daddy. Sometimes they even try to trigger a Surprise hug. You cant activate a Surprise hug.

It comes when You least expect it.

The Frustrating Part:

Keeping calm when all children are conspiring to get on my last fragile nerve.

Trying to find the time to spend with my

Supermodel Kung Semi Pro Beach Volleyball player. I love my kids but they can be chronal black holes. I can't imagine life without them so it is that frustrating struggle to give everyone the time we all need to flourish. I am a jealous husband. I want time with my preciooouuussss.

Lastly, I wish the bar wasn't so low for fathers. It is always weird when I get praised to just being a basic father to my kids.

What I have learned:

1: Each child is unique and you need to make sure that you don't force the lessons you learned with one child onto the other.

2: Each child needs individual time together with you.

3: The wife I had before my first child isn't the same after the birth.

There are new dimensions after every new child. Make sure you truly connect to find out where you are as a couple.

Kids are great but your relationship is Paramount. Kids need to learn that Dad considers his wife his Number 1 option.

My name is Ugo from the House of Nwokolo. Husband to Funmi and Father to Ronke, Kosi and Ugo. This is my 7th Father's Day.  I am very blessed man.

I also have a vivid imagination.

Joe Carlos eloquently expressed his father's example and shared a photo of his adorable little one, Sage Harper.

"His examples were those in his mind. And so, he did the best he could with what he had. He worked tirelessly. He walked circumspectfully. He lived and breathed integrity. He expected our best, and poured his energies into providing whatever we needed to succeed.

It's not easy being the son of a revered person. It's not. It's not easy when you bear the same name. The expectations are higher than you could imagine because of all that you've been fortunate enough to experience and have. And still, despite that, my father has loved me and my siblings and taught us lessons that will endure, and shown us the world.

We spoke on Thursday about Hamlet. And he purposefully mispronounced a character's name. And I corrected him by saying "Polonius". He lives for that. For that affirmation. He lives for the delight of shared knowledge. And he passed that on to us, and we will do the same.

My father delivers babies for a living, and he's one of the absolute best at it, anywhere. Because of this, and because of the way he approaches his work, he is one of the most respected people in his field, and definitely in our sleepy little town of Dallas, TX. And despite all of the things he is to so many people; the Deacon, the proud grandfather, the counselor, the prayer partner, the trustee at Greenhill and Lakehill, the consummate uncle, the loyal Boule brother, the avid Cowboys, Rangers and Mavs fan, the Alpha, first and foremost he'll tell you that he's a child of God. And being a child of God, is what rules and guides his life.

Happy Father's Day to my role model and the man that I'm blessed to call my father, and Sage and Izzy's grandfather."

First Lady Krystal Taft reflected on her husband's dedication to the Lord and their family.

[Pastor Taft Q. Heatley] "William loves standing in your shoes so much to the point that I have to wrestle them away from him when you are not home. I know that one day he'll be big enough to fill your shoes, and when that day comes I know that he will be the loving husband, father, son, brother, friend and most importantly Man of God that you are teaching him to be. I love you and Happy Father's Day!!!"

This quote sums up how I feel about my father, confidante and kindred spirit.

“They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps.” — Everwood






Finally, Happy Father's day to my wonderful husband, Marvin! Thank you for being the best Daddy to our children, showering them with love and affection. Thank you for knowing when they need a kind word over a stern hand. Thank you for understanding that for them to live life without limits they still need boundaries. Most of all thank for loving their Mother :-* 

I also salute the men in my extended family; my uncles, grandfathers and family friends that offer an immeasurable amount of love and guidance - not only as father figures to me, but to my kids as well. We Love You All!

I hope to continue working with fathers as guest bloggers, so Dads, if what you read in this post inspires you to pen something of your own please send it to mommymorphosis@gmail.com 

Commit To "Me Time" - 6 Ways To Make Time For You!

As CEO of your home you have an endless list of responsibilities and obligations. At work you and your spouse juggle client meetings, work travel and can't-miss deadlines. Your child's schedule is bursting with projects and activities. The hustle and bustle just doesn't stop, leaving most of us in dire need of a little personal time.

Since having children I've worked between 20-40 hours a week, spent 3 years as a full-time graduate student and completed a year long internship. I assumed that my most recent stint as a stay-at-home mom would provide an opportunity to do all the things I was previously too busy for. My experience has been quite the opposite. There's always something to do at home, an appointment or errand, homework to review, meals to plan, etc. People may assume I having an easy go of it (cue the soap opera and bonbon stereotype) when in reality my days fly by faster than ever with hardly any time alone. The expectation is that stay-at-home parents have all day to themselves, but realistically we've been dodging telemarketers, taming tantrums, in the kitchen or shuttling kids in the car all day. Working hard to keep my family healthy, happy and high functioning isn't a complaint. As an adult I recognize we all have duties to fulfill and sacrifices to make. Whether you are a working professional or full-time homemaker, it's often hard to prioritize even just a sliver of time for the things we WANT to do instead of NEED to do. Making time to relax and recharge can relieve stress, improve your interactions at work and home, positively impact your physical and mental health and help you sleep better at night. But how do you find the time?

1. Become an early bird
When I go to bed exhausted the last thing I want to think about is waking up an hour early. However, if you're desperate for a little peace and quiet one of the easiest ways to get some solitude is to rise a bit earlier that the rest of your household. Set your alarm for 5:30 or 6 am. Use the stillness of dawn to meditate, deep breathe and start your day with positive affirmations. Stretch, take a run or do a little yoga. Make a cup of coffee or tea and grab fresh air on your porch or balcony. Starting your morning with peace and balance may allow you to carry those feelings throughout your day.


2. Give yourself a gift card
Lack of time can keep us from doing the fun stuff we enjoy, but sometimes it's a lack of funds that prevents us from taking advantage of an opportunity. Be prepared when the free moment presents itself. Once a month buy yourself a $50 gift card to your favorite spa, retailer or restaurant. When you see a great Groupon deal buy it! That way when you have a sitter or a free Sunday afternoon you won't have to worry about blowing your budget.


3. Standing salon appointments

Going to your hairstylist or favorite manicurist doesn't have to be a single girl luxury. If you patronize a popular salon scheduling can already be a headache; couple that with tying down a sitter for Saturday morning and you could find yourself struggling to get serviced every two weeks. Talk to your spouse, babysitter or extended family about committing to a regular time (preferably a weekday) when they can keep the little ones busy while you're getting beautified. Maybe your neighbor takes the boys to soccer practice every other Tuesday afternoon. Or, Dad does breakfast and school drop every Friday so you can keep your 8:00 am standing appointment. When you look good, you feel good. Don't deny yourself the simple pleasure of a little pampering.

4. Find a gym with childcare
I dream of a life where I hit the gym twice a day and get back to my pre-baby body in no time, but two and a half years later I'm still carrying a bit of belly bulge. I thought putting my career on pause would leave lots of time to focus on my physical health. Having to find childcare during workouts has been a hindrance (and an excuse), but there are ways to fit in fitness. Lots of people have success using DVDs at home or taking jogging strollers on their runs. I encourage readers to explore these options, but I've tried and they're not for me. I enjoy exercising in a gym - taking classes, using the sauna, access to a trainer etc. Now lots of facilities offer free on-site childcare for members. Do some research online, find a gym in your area and give it a try. Of course, take you and your child's level of comfort into account. If they're not used to the setting start off with a short workout and increase the length as you both become regulars. If you have older children try to schedule separate classes that meet at the same time. That way being active becomes a family affair, but you each have solo time to exercise and socialize with peers.

5. Buy tickets in advance

Keep up with your favorite performer on tour, sports team or production at the local theater. Professionals may take for granted the benefits of mental stimulation and grown up experiences. But, full time parents know what they're missing. There's only so much Veggie Tales and Barney one person can take. Consult with friends and buy tickets to a event well in advance so it can go on the family calendar right next to all the other activities.


6. Take a class
I'm raising my children to be lifetime learners. What better way to practice what you preach than by beefing up your resume or adding to your skill set with a class or workshop? Sure you could use free time to take in a movie or visit old friends, but enrolling in a new field of study is just as rewarding. Again, you have the benefit of a schedule to aid in planning for regular childcare. Classmates and instructors can become a part of your network, or even new friends. The intellectual and creative activity will be a great joy, and your family will think it's cool seeing Mom or Dad as a student. You'll enjoy having something fresh to share at the dinner table.

Which Field Trip Parent Are You?

As you all know I love to be a super chaperone for my son's preschool field trips. On our last excursion I spent as much time studying other parents as I did the Shedd Aquarium's sea creatures. My careful observations led me to classify my peers into five types of field trip parents.

First Timers
It's been so long I can barely remember my first time, but I'm sure I had the same wide-eyed look on my face as a Mom new to field trip duty. They're easy to spot because they're probably slightly overdressed, or disheveled from an unusually early arrival. These are the folks asking for name tags, shocked by the bumpy bus ride and surprised when the brown bag lunches get passed around. Sorry, you eat the same as the kids - turkey on wheat bread, orange slices and generic potato chips. Hopefully by the end of the day these Moms and Dads have made a friend or two, as well as a fun memory with their children.

Mr. No Nonsense
This parent runs a tight ship. Wiggling, giggling and all goofy behavior is strictly frowned upon. While classmates are exploring and having fun, their kid usually has to stay close. Scowls are issued as warnings and any naughty behavior will be quickly corrected with a furious finger wag. Though these parents are great allies when dealing with an unruly bunch, they might need a reminder to let the kids be kids just once in a while.

Big Kids
Usually a Dad who relives his own childhood on these trips. You can find them roughhousing and getting the kids all riled up on the bus, or singing silly songs en route. When you finally make it to the destination this parent will hit the ground running; he or she will be totally hands on with the exhibits. They knock on the aquarium tanks, dress up in the space station and make animal noises at the zoo. Typically a ton of fun, who wouldn't want to spend an afternoon with this parent? Easy to spot by their comfy attire and the swarm of ecstatic kids clamoring for their attention.

Ms. Information
Going on field trips with this parent is like taking an educational jaunt with Alec Trebek. Above all else and by any means, this Mom or Dad is going to make sure we all learn something! The bus ride becomes a Jeopardy game for five year olds. Every fact based placard at the museum will be read, and there will probably be a pop quiz at lunch. Ms. Information isn't usually as stuffy as she seems, don't fault her for being smart. Encourage this parent to let the teachers lead the lessons, put the map down and have a little fun!

Photojournalist 
This parent is focused on snapping photos of their offspring in their natural habitats. Their fancy camera is always poised and ready to capture the next Kodak moment. A child's max field trip attention span is about 15 seconds, so you only get one chance to get a great shot before Jr. looks away or darts off. Organizing a group picture is more difficult than wrangling a herd of wild horses. This parent and their pursuit of the perfect image is commendable. Make sure you give them your email address so you get that wonderful picture of mini-me feeding a billy goat or uncovering dinosaur bones.

5 Ways to Inspire Your Children's Dreams

As we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., one of the most influential and respected leaders in history, I often think about his parents. How strong, wise and loving they must have been to raise such a dynamic individual. People like MLK Jr. didn't just turn out great by happenstance. Clearly there must have been family members, mentors, teachers and peers that saw his potential and nurtured it. I humbly offer my thoughts on how to encourage the special boys and girls in our lives to create a vision for themselves, achieve their dreams and make an impact on the world at large.


5. Look & Listen


"It (destiny) is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives." Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"


Practice close observation and active listening skills when interacting with your children. Talk to them. What are they into? What can't they stop jabbering about? You can help them identify and explore their healthy interests. Dig a little and educate them about the possibilities. A kid obsessed with transforming robots today, could be tomorrow's science and technology innovator. 


4. Homemade History Lessons


"The history of the world is but the biography of great men." Thomas Carlyle 


All things tangible and real in our world  were once someones dream. Teach your children to appreciate the men and women throughout history who turned nothing into something, and they will realize that they too can bring their visions into fruition. Retrace the steps taken one by one to turn dreams into reality. 


3. Encourage Literacy

“The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”  Dr. Seuss, "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!"

Little readers are little dreamers. Books transport us to worlds unknown and plant ideas in a way that no other media can. Your budding bookworm will develop a better vocabulary, ability to focus and critical thinking skills by shelf surfing at the local library . 2. Expose them to the unfamiliar "If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." Rachel Carson Make sure children know that the world is a huge, varied place. There is more to life than their block, city, state, country and continent. While their minds are sponges help them understand that no dream is too big. Their imaginations may lead them to ponder the implausible, but teach them that nothing is impossible. Visit museums, parks, art galleries. Travel by train, plane and automobile. Answer their questions. When you don't how to respond fess up and research the topic together. Encourage exploration that titillates their senses. See the sights; smell the scents - stinky and sweet; touch the soft and prickly; hear the noise and quiet; develop their taste for life!

1. Keep Living Your Own Dreams


"When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old." Bill Clinton 


When we become parents, guardians or teachers we agree to put our needs second to what is best for our kids. Sometimes through great sacrifice we put what we want on hold to provide what they need, as it should be. But remember, the way we live provides a road map for how our children approach their lives. Talk to your children about your personal story, your failures and successes. Are you thriving or surviving? Even if you are excelling professionally, personally and spiritually think back to when you were a child. Rediscover some of that joy and curiosity. Set new goals, embark on new adventures, make new memories and you will inspire your children to do the same.