Combat Christmas Consumerism - 3 Ways To Remember The Reason For The Season

The holiday season is here, whether you're ready or not. Less than one month ago friends and family gathered around tables, shared delicious meals and gave thanks for all the good in our lives. Exactly 24 hours later gratitude gave way to "getititude" as scores of shoppers swarmed and scrambled to grab bargains on Black Friday. The season of comfort and joy has become more about flat screen televisions and hard to find toys.

Last year I blogged about my own child's sense of Christmas entitlement. http://mommymorphosis.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-christmas-spirit-of-sharing-and.html 

This year our family has worked hard to counteract consumerism and instead teach virtues of true holiday spirit. While I want my little ones to enjoy the thrill of receiving gifts from their wish list; it's equally important for them to learn the magic of giving, creating traditions and being spiritually grounded. It's easy to get caught up in the commercial hoopla! Use these tips to add meaning to the most wonderful time of the year.


1. Celebrate The Joy Of Giving
We all look forward to the smiles that follow unwrapping beautiful boxes on Christmas morning (Hanukkah and Kwanzaa too)! We save, shop, sneak and stress to get our loved ones what they desire most. Hopefully as adults we've learned the joy of giving, as well as receiving. Plan activities that teach your little ones that sentiment. It's important for them to realize that other boys and girls may be going without. Find a local toy drive, group home, or church collecting items for the less fortunate. Donate toys, books and clothing that can be a blessing to those who desperately need a bit of holiday cheer. If finances are tight give your time. Join a group that sings carols at nursing homes or spend an afternoon volunteering at a local shelter. Be the gift!



2. Create Family Traditions Together
Fellowship, family, laughter and love - these are life's most special gifts. Make the season mean so much more by creating traditions with your children. Craft homemade ornaments or cards, bake cookies for your neighbors, attend a performance of the Nutcracker, see a holiday concert, go ice skating, host a Christmas Eve potluck, etc. Give your family something to look forward to each year that's invaluable, immaterial and doesn't require batteries.




3. Teach The Reason For The Season

Focus on your faith. Why and what do you believe? As busy adults we sometimes take for granted the spiritual lessons imparted by our elders. Teach your children the essence of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Make it fun! Take part of special activities in your place of worship. Pick out a couple of new books. Put on a play or puppet show to perform for loved ones visiting from out of state. Although Santa has become a prominent figure, remind your children the star atop your tree does not shine in celebration of dear old St. Nick.

2013's Best Mother's Day Memes and More

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." Rajneesh

Mommy-Morphosis celebrates motherhood daily, but I couldn't let our special day pass without a special post! Motherhood is a journey and we all do it differently. On Mother's Day not only am I eternally grateful for my own loving Mommy and Grandmas, but also thankful for my little ones. Having children changed my life and they are honestly the best thing to ever happen to me. For every mother/child relationship there are unique joys and (labor) pains, but we all want one thing - to make sure our children grow up to be healthy, happy and wise individuals. It's the only job in the world where, when done right, there are no days off. Here's to all of us who put in the love and hard work 365 days a year!

I've collected  my favorite quotes and images floating around the web this Mother's Day. Enjoy, have a laugh and give yourselves a pat on the back for a job well done.

1. We're pretty amazing right?

2. Not a fair trade, but it's worth it.

3. Don't mind if I do. #1 on next year's gift wish list.

4. A pretty succinct job description :-)

5. Shhhh, your secret's safe with me.

6. Celebrate Mom whether near or far.

7. If you made it through the day without hearing any of these questions you aren't playing fair.

8. Not sure if I'm qualified for this position...

9. It's about choices. Everyday. And we all mess it up sometimes ...

10. Get off the computer and call your Momma!

*Disclaimer - I did not create any of the above images. The words in the pictures are not my own, only the captions. Y'all know how the internet works... I couldn't find the original sources if I tried. Whoever the creators are we thank you! 

The Christmas Spirit of Sharing and using Kwanzaa Principles to "Be the Gift" in the New Year

Christmas becomes a larger than life event when you have children. Eager to see the fruits of their good behavior, kids get more anxious as each month passes and December 25th nears. Lists are made, elves sit atop shelves and mantles as pint sized consumers hope for the newest toys, dolls and big ticket gadgets. I've become increasingly bothered by how wrapped up my almost six year old son has become in "getting". He's a sweet, compassionate boy, but sometimes when there are presents to be had he loses his manners and becomes a greedy little person I barely recognize! My toddler isn't a concern yet, it's a bit ridiculous to expect tact and selflessness from a two year old. She could careless about gifts now and busies herself with boxes and wrapping paper. But, she adores her big brother and is sure to pick up his behaviors as she ages. I watched my son tear open scores of presents and though he was polite, I could tell he wanted more. He was ready to take, take, take and though he'd gotten everything he asked for, he compared how many gifts he'd received to other children in the family. As a parent, I was uncomfortable, and I knew it was up to my husband and I to curtail such self indulgence. Though I want him to be happy, I've vowed to find someway to avoid spoiling my child to the point he becomes an ingrate.


Responsible parents might find it hard to help their little ones understand the reason for the holiday season, aside from commercial hysteria. I've played around with the notion that the kids should pick three gifts for Christmas; plus a fourth to donate to charity. Baby Jesus received gold, frankincense and myrrh - that should be enough for my little prince and princess! My husband has yet to get on board with this concept, Daddy loves the smiles that lots of presents bring. I'm hoping that maybe down the line as the children get older, more mature, we can make it a new tradition. I've also been hinting that they ask for cool, unique experiences versus material goods. Family vacations, music lessons, tickets to kid's stage plays, overnights in museums, etc... Beginning right away I've opted to simply talk to my child about his attitude. I've managed to spark a few conversations about the Nativity, giving and thankfulness. Of course, it's natural for a kid to love Christmas and pray for Mom and Dad to partner with Santa in showering them with their heart's every desire. But, as parents we have to set reasonable boundaries and expectations for graciousness. We have to teach those lessons in spirit, in talk and in action. I want him to have a greater understanding of Jesus Christ and our faith. I want him to enjoy opening his presents, but also delight in seeing friends and family receive what they've wished for. I want him to know that giving or receiving love, time and smiles can be better than anything money can buy. I've made it my mandate for the new year to grow with my children spiritually, so that next year they can celebrate Christmas with a humble heart and greater understanding of why the holiday is more than gifts under the Christmas tree, bright lights and gingerbread cookies.


All December Nigel has been learning about holiday traditions in school. He's studied the history of Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa. Of course, being African American, he's had lots of questions about Kwanzaa for me. I haven't actively observed the week long holiday in many years, but growing up as an adolescent and preteen, my extended family in Ohio celebrated annually. Given my new dedication to growing his faith and spirituality I thought it'd be nice to teach him about Dr. Maulana Karenga, the seven Kwanzaa principles (Nguzo Saba) and why it's taken hold within the African American community. Everyday we've learned a new Swahili principle and discussed it's meaning using vocabulary that he can understand. The concepts are clear and it can be fun practicing terms in a new language. The exercise is helping me teach my son that while Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christ and exchange gifts with loved ones; Kwanzaa is a time to reflect about how he can "be the gift" to his family, community and our world. Instead of receiving presents daily, at the end of Imani - the seventh day, we will buy a complete Kwanzaa observance kit with a Kinara, Mishumaa Saba and Mkeka in preparation for next year. The Kwanzaa approach is working well for us. Regardless of your ethnicity learn about Kwanzaa with your family. Many cities offer January 1st events that mark the end of the holiday with music, live performances, lectures and interactive activities for young people. For more information visit: http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org

As this year comes to an end I encourage parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, god parents, teachers, coaches and all those that have special relationships with children to think about how they can nurture a young person in the new year.  What can you do to strengthen their spirit, increase their humanity, cultivate their sense of character and develop their values? It is foolish for us to believe that bad habits and faulty logic will simply be outgrown. Sooner than we imagine our children will be adults going out into the world to make their marks.  As role models and mentors it is our responsibility to correct them, guide them and aid them in becoming people that don't just seek to help themselves, but to also serve God and their fellow man.

Happy New Year!

ShoMommy Thanksgiving Top 10! I am truly thankful for ...

On Thanksgiving Day we have an opportunity to reflect on the many favors and mercies in our lives. As we gather with friends, family or perhaps fellowship with strangers, we are reminded of the best parts of human nature. No commercialism, no cynicism - just a day to remember the grace that has sustained us during our lifetime. Despite any slights we might have suffered, lacks we may experience the fact that we are alive to see a new day gives up hope and peace. 

I am thankful for many things, both small and grand. Today I'm sharing my Top 10 reasons to give thanks!

10. Cable TV...
Traditions like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Purina Dog Show and countless football games may be the pinnacle of Turkey Day entertainment for some... I, however, find joy in Vh1Soul, Romantic Comedies on HBO and HGTV (House Hunters yaaa!)

9. Shelter... 
In the wake of Hurricane Sandy many people are still displaced on the Eastern Seaboard. Don't take everyday conveniences like shelter, heat, clean water, etc for granted. If you can continue to support please give at http://www.redcross.org/

8. My 5 year old son...
Smart, kind, lovable, handsome and finally tall enough to reach things on the low shelf! I'm putting my happy helper to work during Thanksgiving prep. When all is said and done and ShoMommy is in a couch potato HGTV zone, Nigel's more than happy to turn off the lights, fetch me a glass of water and find his own Cable TV joy with a Ninjago marathon 

7. A toddler no yet speaking in full sentences...
My baby girl will celebrate her second Thanksgiving this year. Known for her charmingly mercurial personality, healthy appetite and expressive eyes, I am thankful that she will be overjoyed with the variety of foods to sample and does not yet have the capacity to complain about dry turkey or cold dinner rolls. 

6. Jeggings...
Because I want to be stylish, yet gentle on my waistline. You feel me.

5. Family...
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have their loved ones close enough to share in Thanksgiving Day feasts and fun. Today I appreciate the love and support of my family; the ones gathered around the table with me and those that have reached out by phone, email and text. I'm not a fan of the mass holiday texting that's become the norm as of late, but it's the gesture that counts. It's nice to know that we are grateful for one another near and far. I'm thankful for my loved ones who have passed away, but shared our family's history and traditions. My late Grandmother, a Chicago woman with rich Southern roots, lives on in sweet potato pie and cornbread dressing.  

4.  A sense of humor...
It is easy to become overwhelmed by all that is serious in our lives and in the world. As we age we lose, little by the little, the levity that we enjoy in childhood. Our faces don't burst with happiness as easily and we rarely give ourselves permission to explode into a fit of giggles. When we laugh and find delight around us we add years to our lives and become closer to our spiritual center. Don't just LOL online do it in real life!

3. Ambition...
 Because I sure ain't wealthy... yet. I am more than grateful for the personal and professional successes I've had and I look forward to creating more in years to come. Not just for myself but for the benefit of my children whom I love so much!

2. Health...
I've recently learned the hard way, as I've lost friends my own age, that no matter how healthy and strong we are we won't live forever. I am thankful for a fit body (not as trim as I'd like, but I'm working on that) and a sound mind. 

1. Love...
Life is for loving, use your heart. I am thankful, not only for the love I receive, but for the love I am able to give.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Happy Grandparents Day!!

On September 9th, we commemorate Grandparents Day. The holiday isn't widely recognized, but I hope to make it special in the lives of my children. Extended family, especially my Grandparents, have played a tremendous role in my life and the tradition continues as my children are especially close to their family elders.








My husband and I are fortunate to have active, healthy parents who adore our kids. As most grandparents do, they revel in spoiling our tots and loving them to the moon and beyond. No one compares to Grandma, Pops, Grandmother and Big Daddy in their eyes!
















Take a moment today to call or visit your Grandparents, say a special prayer if they have passed away. Remember the extraordinary love they showered you with; the marvel and wisdom in their eyes. Have your children do the same, so they begin to understand the importance of celebrating their ancestry. We must cherish our golden-agers and let them know that their love, influence and support does
not go unnoticed.