PolitiKids: Introducing your Children to the Political Process

As election day approaches, eligible voters across the United States will head to the polls to cast their votes in the federal, state and local races. I've been actively engaged in keeping up with this year's tumultuous presidential election and simply by proximity my kids have gotten interested. I'm my family's resident political analyst, flooding my social media timelines with opinions and funny memes. I look forward to debates like my husband does Manchester soccer matches. Even though they're little, both under 5, I think it's important to introduce them to the political process, especially concepts of social justice and the knowledge that their voice matters. This week I'm sharing a few tips on how to raise pint sized politicos!

1. Start with the basics: Define terms.
What is an election? How do you vote? Why is it important?
If possible, try to keep your own divisive ideologies out of it. For kids younger than middle school age I don't think you need to address party affiliation. Explain what a President does. Governor, Mayor, State Representative, Congressperson, etc. My Kindergartener has been memorizing the 44 POTUS' since he was three. We have a cool place mat that helps him have fun with it. Make a local connection. Perhaps you'll speak more about figures that hail from your home state. Being in Illinois we talk a lot about Lincoln and Obama.

2. Stress the importance of equality
Explain that all votes matter. Save the electoral college discussion for later. Whether you are male or female, no matter your age, level of education or ethnicity help your child understand that being politically aware and active is their civic duty. Beware of using gender specific language. Just because we have yet to elect a female or Latino president tell your child it is possible - they may even become the first.

3. Skip the Cynicism 
Political opinions are often polarizing and controversial. Nix the sensationalizing and table the cynicism. We want to teach our children from a position that is unjaded. Politics, values and personal philosophies are certainly interwoven, but we must start with basic understanding. Liberals, Moderates and Conservatives alike believe in the principles of freedom and justice for all. Introduce a sense of democracy to your children in it's purest form. Treasure the innocent way they view the world and support their belief in fairness.

4. Lead by example
As their primary role models we must "show" more than we "say". Discuss domestic and foreign affairs with adults in the presence of your children; let them learn that it's OK to respectfully disagree with friends and family. Become involved with the school board, participate in neighborhood planning or volunteer for your candidate of choice. Take them to vote with you if possible. Let them admire the scores of citizens who participate. The idea is to demonstrate that one person can make a difference in the world around them; by getting involved they can impact their environment in a positive way.

5. Student Government and Extracurriculars
When the time comes, talk to your child about running for a student council post. This can give them an opportunity to truly understand what if means to be an elected official. Of course, some will win and other will lose. Teach them that this is simply a part of life. Whether or not they are the victor,  encourage them to demonstrate leadership everyday in classrooms, on the playground and after school clubs. This is a lesson in valuing their influence and using it to benefit others.

Keep Your Children Safe and Smart (and maintain your sanity) Through the Chicago Teachers Union Strike

Many Chicago parents and children are out of school and temporarily displaced due to the Chicago Teachers Union strike. Just a week after most Chicago Public School students stepped foot inside classrooms, today they are either being cared for at home, by family members, in churches and non profit agencies or at one of the 144 schools open for the "Children's First" contingency program. The CTU and school board are attempting to reach an agreement over terms of the teacher's new contract. Core points of contention are compensation and health care benefits, job security and teacher evaluation processes.

While I support the teachers union, I empathize with parents who are now scrambling to find last minute childcare for their children during normal school hours. Many cannot find reliable, affordable options for their children. The "Children's First" sites will be open from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. Parents should sign children up ahead of time, as all CPS students are assigned to a designated site in their community that is not necessarily their regular school. According to CPS spokespeople, "This is a safety net for families who have no childcare alternatives. No instruction will occur as the sites will not operate as schools but will provide daily breakfast, lunch, and age appropriate activities." 

Since I've yet to return to full time work, the school closings have not posed a huge inconvenience to my Kindergartner. Today he's simply home with his baby sister and I. My youngest cousin, a 6th grader, has also been left in my care while his parents work. I'm not stressed about having the kids at home, but I do worry about the inconsistency affecting their academic focus and disrupting our routine. For those of us at home with kids during the strike it's important not to let (hopefully just) a few days out of school turn into a free for all. By maintaining a schedule, mixing learning in with fun activities and taking advantage of good weather we can keep the kids safe and smart, while keeping a handle on our sanity. 

1. Stick to assigned wake up and sleep schedules. 

Get the kids in and out of bed at their regular times. This may be a hard sell, but it's the easiest way to support your family once they head back to the schoolhouse.

2. Get outside and get moving

The weather is warm and pleasant. Turn the backyard into a disco. Spend time reading aloud under a shaded tree or take a nature walk to the local park. Set up chalk or paint easels in the backyard. Try to find activities that encourage communication, problem-solving and organization strategies. Have a picnic and let the kids plan and prepare lunch. Outside fun means healthier children and a cleaner house for Mom & Dad. 

3. Limit Television Time

It's easy to let the kids plop in front of the TV to keep them quiet and out your hair, but too much tube time is bad for their growing brains. Try to find shows that teach them math, reading or social skills. Funny, silly or adventurous movies are lots of fun, just lead a family discussion after the showing. Have your big kids write a movie review and your little one draw a picture of their favorite scene. 

4. Document Your Summer Break

Use the downtime to go through pictures you've taken during your summer break. Let your kids help you create a scrapbook or photo album of your fun in the sun. Remember great moments from your family vacation and watch home movies you made. Write a letter or telephone new friends made at summer camp.

5. Fun Free Activities

Find fun and free outings by doing a little research into local activities especially for children. Some of my go-to resource websites are www.chicagokids.com  www.explorechicago.org and www.chicagofree.info

Also, adult residents of the City of Chicago may check out a Museum Passport at all Chicago Public Library locations with their valid Chicago Public Library card. Find out which museums participate in the program and find more information at http://www.chipublib.org

*** You can't truly understand parenting until you have a child. And you certainly can't understand teaching until you've taught in an overcrowded classroom, to (some) unmotivated kids, with limited resources, uninvolved guardians and poor administrative support. It's not easy for anyone involved, but I believe this strike is necessary for the future benefit of us all. As a Chicago Public School Parent and Chicago Teachers Union Counselor and Substitute Teacher I support the strike. #ChicagoTeachersStrike2012 

Happy Grandparents Day!!

On September 9th, we commemorate Grandparents Day. The holiday isn't widely recognized, but I hope to make it special in the lives of my children. Extended family, especially my Grandparents, have played a tremendous role in my life and the tradition continues as my children are especially close to their family elders.








My husband and I are fortunate to have active, healthy parents who adore our kids. As most grandparents do, they revel in spoiling our tots and loving them to the moon and beyond. No one compares to Grandma, Pops, Grandmother and Big Daddy in their eyes!
















Take a moment today to call or visit your Grandparents, say a special prayer if they have passed away. Remember the extraordinary love they showered you with; the marvel and wisdom in their eyes. Have your children do the same, so they begin to understand the importance of celebrating their ancestry. We must cherish our golden-agers and let them know that their love, influence and support does
not go unnoticed.

Happy Birthday President Barack Obama! 10 Things You Might Not Know About Our Powerful and Polished POTUS!

Today our Commander-in-chief, Barack Hussein Obama, celebrates his 51st birthday. The charismatic 44th President of the United States made history in 2008 by being the first African American man elected to take the Oval Office. With his radiant wife Michelle by his side, President Obama has become a political figure and family man that many admire. He has continued his long list of achievements over the last four years, becoming one of the most popular and highly recognizable leaders around the globe. Aside from his international endeavors he is a symbol of hope, diversity and progress in our nation. 


How well do you know Sasha and Malia's Dad? To celebrate his special day I'm sharing 10 interesting facts about President Obama. 


10. He says his favorite children’s book is “Where the Wild Things Are.” 


*That's a ShoMommy favorite too, check out an old post to celebrate the author Maurice Sendak http://mommymorphosis.blogspot.com/2012/05/beyond-where-wild-things-are.html


9. His first date with wife, Michelle Obama, was to the movie “Do The Right Thing.”   



*ShoMommy loves the smart, stylish, rising icon "Chelly O". We shared little known facts about our favorite first lady for her birthday. Read the old post at: http://mommymorphosis.blogspot.com/2012/01/happy-birthday-mrs-michelle-obama-10.html

8. His favorite show is HBOs “The Wire.”

7.  He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia.


6. He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, for $21

5. He was known as “O’Bomber” at high school for his jump shot skills at basketball. He has weekly games at the White House court. 

4. He owns a pair of boxing gloves signed by Muhammad Ali.



3. His father grew up herding goats, then went on to attend Harvard University. In 1991 Barack graduated 
Harvard Law School where he was president of the Law 
Review.

2. He wrote a children’s book “Of Thee I Sing.”


1. His name means blessed by God in Swahili.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. PRESIDENT!!!

Congratulations Gabby Douglas! 2012 London Olympic Games Women's All Around Gold Medalist

With the support of her loved ones, coach and Iowa host family, 16 year old Gabby has become the first African American female in Olympic history to win the Women's All Around Gold Medal.

I had to share this touching commercial by Proctor & Gamble. Natalie Hawkins, Gabby's Mom, shares her family's journey to realize her daughters goals in pursuit of the gold! 

Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc please, please, please LISTEN to the dreams of the young people in your life! Nurture their potential, encourage excellence and love them along their journey. The dream CAN be realized :-) #YourChildIsAChampion Check out the moving piece below.

Weaning gripes. I'm not a crunchy granola or a Time Magazine mom - Weaning is really hard!

Like a lot of Moms these days, the decision to nurse my children was a no-brainer. We've learned that mother's milk provides the greatest nutritional benefit to our children, additionally it's the ideal way to secure healthy attachment with our infants. I've been trying to wean my now 14 month old for more than 60 days, and it's really, really hard. I've done the reading, the research and frankly I'm having limited success getting baby girl to detach and unlatch. What was once a special declaration of motherly love and our natural bond has become a bit of a burden.

I lasted 12 months breastfeeding my first born son without a hiccup or a sore nipple. It was easy-peesy. Weaning him was of course laborious, but nothing to cry about. I introduced him to whole milk in a sippy cup after his first birthday and two months later he was off the boob for good. This time around has been a different ballgame. By 6 months I was exhausted from trying to keep up with my daughter's nursing needs and began to sparingly supplement with formula. I was too tired to feel guilty. Soon I was starting to countdown the days until Nikke turned one year old - our cutoff point. It felt good that my milk provided both solace and sustenance to my little one, even so much that I included it in my ode to lovable babies in this post; http://mommymorphosis.blogspot.com/2011/11/10-reasons-we-love-babies.html But, the time and toll it was taking on my body and frayed nerves was hard to ignore. I loved her little palm playing with my necklace or stroking my cheek as she fed, but soon that developed into pulling at my shirt and taking "nip nips". So when that 365th day of life arrived and I presented her with a cup full of ice cold milk I thought it'd be smooth sailing. Absolutely wrong! She spit it out with disgust. She had zero interest in store brought dairy, she wanted the good stuff straight from mama bear. I've tried Almond and Coconut milk hoping that might pique her taste buds; "perhaps she's a budding vegan" I thought. Still no go, and though we've cut back significantly thanks to ice water, yogurt and string cheese, nothing seems to sate and soothe during rough times like my supply. So now I find myself with a toddler who won't let go. I try to stick to my guns and let her cry it out at bedtime or when she's especially crabby, but winning a test of will against a toddler is harder than it sounds. Who wins the daily battle is almost always a toss up. 

For now I' m fluctuating between the "don't offer, don't refuse" method and simply hiding from her. I feel bad about wanting to wean so strongly, then I feel bad for feeling bad. My veteran Mom friends and online supporters say to heed to Nikke's resistance. Maybe she's just not ready? I was settling into the idea of nursing a little bit longer, but then the naysayers began to chime in. Some friends and family members have surprised me with averse reaction to breastfeeding my new toddler. I've heard lots of mumbling about TIME Magazine's cover story from a while back. Of course the salacious article title "Are You Mom Enough" and edgy cover photo incited a ShoMommy response which you can read in this post, http://mommymorphosis.blogspot.com/2012/05/time-asks-are-you-mom-enough-new-twist.html When criticism comes my way I state the medical facts, "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond." Breastfeeding a bigger baby does not make me a pervert!

I'm not sure when my weaning attempts will stick, or if Morenikke and I will both continue to "suck" at this painful process. But, I have decided that it will be our journey together. I hope to not feel pressured to fit into society's idea of what is or isn't "normal", our physical and mental health is what matters most. Don't worry I'll keep you posted. Might even post a video of her drinking something other than mama milk and me doing the happy dance in the background when we get to the other side of this arduous undertaking. Please share you thoughts and experiences in the comment section. I'd love to know I'm not the only one who's struggled through this.

For more information on breastfeeding and weaning visit:  http://www.lalecheleague.org 

www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding  

http://www2.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding

How Do I Discipline to teach DISCIPLINE?

As parent to an increasingly willful toddler and five year old who's testing boundaries, my arsenal of behavior management techniques is dwindling quickly. The thing is, I don't really enjoy being the disciplinarian, but I'll be damned if my children grow up as wildlings. It seems that nowadays I spend a nice chunk of our quality time barking warnings, counting down and reminding my kids of my expectations. Frankly it's exhausting and unlike many folks my patience seems to be waning, not growing, with age. 

My son spent 4 years as an only child. Compared to some other mischievous boys his age Nigel is well behaved. He's a good listener and really sweet kid who doesn't rock the boat much. Since he turned one I've drilled in our "3 Rules": Be a Good Listener, Be Respectful and Be Safe. All of the infractions that disappoint and anger me fall somewhere under the umbrella of the "3 Rules". He knows the rules inside out and grasps the concept pretty well for a little guy. Spankings are few and far between. Timeouts in the naughty chair are the bread and butter of my behavior management strategy with him. Couple that with a stern 3 or 5 count and he used to be scared straight. I've got a mean Mommy face! But, lately I've been noticing some defiance and I don't like it. It's so funny that until you become a parent you think "controlling" a child is easy. Ha! You cannot make a kid do anything. The more you try the more angry you get and antagonistic they become. They will make you spaz out and guess who's angry, exhausted and teary afterward? The parents - not the kids! What does work is assessing your personality and that of your child. Lay out your expectations and tell your kid why right is right and wrong is wrong. They are smarter than we give them credit for. Speak to them at their language level and they'll get it. Parents sometimes skip the explanation of expectations. I make a point to always give a why to my what. Still I wonder if he focuses more on the reward or punishment in place, instead of the lesson I need him to learn. I discipline to establish my son's self-discipline. That's my end game. I want him to recognize what is appropriate behavior for himself when I'm not around to check him. With any amount of luck this habit of self regulation will start now and follow him into adulthood.

I'm maturing beyond the naughty chair. I swear by it's effectiveness, but Nigel needs something more now. (I pray that baby girl adheres to the timeout rules, so far keeping her in any one spot for longer than a minute is a trial.) We use our responsibility chart religiously. I switch out the tasks and chores every other week to keep it fresh. Nigel, like most kids, thrives on positive feedback over negative consequences. Good behavior is expected so we don't reward it with "stuff" daily, but he can earn weekly treats. We're trying to stay away from buying toys because he has too many and has gotten a little spoiled in that department. Instead allowing him to pick our dinner or dessert, a surprise visit to an event or exhibit, even a simple DVD rental works well for him. I'm relying more on an "if,then" approach and natural consequences punishments. For example "Yes, you may play with the Kindle Fire (substitute for any electronic device). But, IF you don't properly care for it THEN I will take it away for two days." "Yes, you may eat lunch on the back porch today, but IF you make excessive spills THEN you must clean it up yourself and come back to the kitchen table." "Yes, your friend may come over to play in the yard, but IF you guys can't share nicely THEN you have to come inside." There are still mini meltdowns and crying spells, but I've noticed I'm less frazzled and frustrated because we both know the consequences. After a few moments we're moving forward with our day. 

It recently occurred to me that my goal is not to have my children function as little well mannered robots. I hope that my rules and regulations, system of punishments and rewards, will help them learn self-discipline. Part of being a kid is getting dirty, being loud and making mistakes. Part of being a parent is knowing what to let slide and when to tighten up.